letters from barabbas

Wear it out.


If you've spent at least a week with me within the past five years, you have seen me wear this shirt. Charity, one of my most cherished friends, mailed me this shirt from Hawaii after she had moved away. I have loved it as Joseph's many-colored coat ever since, regardless of the holes in the back from too much bleach and the stains in the pit that no amount of bleach could ever renew. This shirt has seen it all.
The manual labor in Brazil was more fun than any I've ever known. We were digging a flat area to lay cement for the construction of a garage for the ministry's new bus. I worked harder than I knew I could, having a blast just not having to worry about how strong or weak I might seem. In the same way that my spirit was free to be itself that week and commune with God because my mind had let down its reflexive barriers, my body was able to do its thing without constant griping from my piercing inferiority complex. Once it started to rain--a cool, soft, refreshing tropical shower--I (shirt included) got astonishingly dirty.
While I came clean in five minutes under a cold shower, the shirt proved far less resilient. I tried my best to wash it by hand in the sink at the mission, only proving further how little I really know my own strength. You'll notice that the B in "Best" is completely missing. The shirt was a goner. Muddy and shredded, I took a final picture before tossing it in the trash.

I can honestly say don't I regret it. How could such a pathetic packrat like me say that and mean it? Didn't I throw away a piece of my soul when I took it off the clothesline?
Well, but I wore it with all my heart: one of my few possessions I didn't patronize and overprotect, I actually treated it with respect for what it was and what we could do together. It's an amazing feeling, though you're probably thinking I'm very silly. Try it, though. Take something you love and actively cherish it by letting it live up to its full potential. And then, once it has known its purpose, let it rest in peace.