letters from barabbas

Days like today always let me down. The clouds sat heavily just above the clocktower, letting out a fine mist from time to time. It seemed to be pouring on the horizon. I looked up expectantly with every chime, but I never saw the deluge I was hoping for.

Stargazers must train themselves to appreciate the periphery.
My psychology professor was telling us about the cones and the rods this morning. Cones are concentrated in the center of the retina on what is called the fovea, and they sense bright light and colors. Rods are spread out where light from the peripheral vision hits the retina, and can only sense motion and dim light. They kick into gear when you're in the dark.
You will see a shooting star out of the corner of your eye, only to lose sight of it as you give it your full focus.

Then: for an instant's virtuoso sketch
a ground of contrast is prepared, laboriously,
so we can see it; for they're very clear
with us. We don't know our feelings' contour,
only what shapes it from outside.

The living all make the same mistake: they distinguish too sharply.
The harder you focus when you're in the dark, the worse your perception becomes.
Today left me waiting for the rain.


(poetry by Rainer Maria Rilke, The Duino Elegies)